LOSE THE LOCKET.

NO.

**Warning: You may throw up in your mouth after this post**

First of all, if you're wondering what this is in my hand, let me just tell you. A TOE NAIL. Okay, let me just get straight to the point. I was eating sour patch kids and you know how at the very end there's a huge amount of sugar? Well, I am one of those nasty people who dip their finger in it and lick it off , right? Well, NEVER AGAIN. So I did this.. and I felt something hard in my mouth. And what was it that I found.. not only sugar, but THIS. YES, THIS. A TOE NAIL. If you are wondering why I am writing in caps..because WHO WOULDN'T FREAK OUT OVER A TOE NAIL IN THEIR MOUTH.... THAT IS NOT THEIRS. Eww. Eww. Eww. Okay, I gotta go throw up now.

NO.

I do not want to hear your excuses. 

NO.

Seriously?

NO.

Worst decision ever.

NO.

Chill. 

NO.

Let me first start out by saying that I saw a piece of paper laying on my parents' kitchen counter (see first picture). Clearly my dad printed it out and wanted these badly enough that he wrote out the note below: "Islander- Brown/Coco". Anyone who understands me knows this is a NO. But the fact that my mom and dad are awesome enough to text me the above picture makes me laugh so hard. They know me too well. I looked at this and thought-- "man, dad must have lost weight.. his ankles look so small." Later in the day my mom called, cracking up after I asked her about it. Little did I know those were HER feet in HIS shoes. 

NO.

Stop it. 

NO.

Dear Kanye West,

Never. Ever. Do this again to your hair. 

Sincerely,

NO.

Don't you love when you take a picture and you end up looking bald in it? 

FAIL.

NO.

Ugly face game. 

Bet you didn't know I could look like this.

NO. 

This should and will never happen again. 

NO.

I know I aint workin' out in these.

NO.

It's probably not a good idea to own a pet like this. EVER.

NO.

Clip. Your. Nails. 

NO.