**Warning: You may throw up in your mouth after this post**

First of all, if you're wondering what this is in my hand, let me just tell you. A TOE NAIL. Okay, let me just get straight to the point. I was eating sour patch kids and you know how at the very end there's a huge amount of sugar? Well, I am one of those nasty people who dip their finger in it and lick it off , right? Well, NEVER AGAIN. So I did this.. and I felt something hard in my mouth. And what was it that I found.. not only sugar, but THIS. YES, THIS. A TOE NAIL. If you are wondering why I am writing in caps..because WHO WOULDN'T FREAK OUT OVER A TOE NAIL IN THEIR MOUTH.... THAT IS NOT THEIRS. Eww. Eww. Eww. Okay, I gotta go throw up now.

NO.

Don't ask me how my friend, Carrie, stumbled upon this.. but this was her response:

"Look how inexpensive!"

39 cents. 

Listen up guys, 

This does not turn us on.

NO.

Yes, it's what you think it is. 

ON A NECKLACE. 

I'm just gonna say this...

I'm not gonna wear this around my neck just to tell the world I'm proud to be a woman. 

I suggest you don't either.

But if you're interested, there's plenty to choose from.. 

NO.

No pockets? No Problem!

NO.

No Lie. This little girl ^ was wearing these suckers around in the airport. 

1. I get that you're 10 years old, but come on.

2. How could your parents let you do such a thing

3. Just because you saw someone at Venice Beach wear these does not mean it's cool.

NO.

YA DON'T NEED TO MATCH WITH YA BAG, LADY.

NO.

CAN. YOU. IMAGINE!?!?

I nearly had a heart attack when I spotted this out of the corner of my eye. 

NO.

!!!!!!!!!!!

Ryan!

NO.

Nothin' like barbecuing on a miniature grill. 

NO.

When I asked this dude if I could take a picture of his car, he instantly got cocky. 

1. Don't act like you don't know I'm taking the picture

2. You DON'T need tires that that big OR rims like those

3. You wouldn't act so cocky if you knew what this picture really was for would you?

NO.

It's one thing getting your child a cutesy little chair... 

it's another when you try to match it to your leather furniture. 

NO.

ISAAAAAAAAAAC!

Why would you stand like this!?!??!?!?! 

NO.

To the person nasty enough to wear these,

REALLY??!

Not your friend,

NO.

I'm sorry to break the news, but this product won't make you a dog whisperer.

NO.

Not even Michelle Kwan or Nancy Kerrigan would wear these.

NO.

Dear Urban Outfitters,

I will not be paying $199.00 for these shoes. 

I will not be paying $.99 for these either. 

Please look into finding new designers. 

Thanks,

NO.

PUT AN END TO FOOT PAIN:

-Bunions

-Hammer Toes

-Toe Cramps

-Ball of Foot Pain

-Plantar Fasciitis

- WASTE OF $9.97

NO.

Do-rag? More like DON'T-rag.

NO.

(holler at my boy, Paul Gibboney)

I can just imagine what she's saying...

"Well, what can you do??"

NO.

We gotta talk...

NO.